Sj7g09's Blog

I am not a feminist.

Posted on: December 12, 2010

It always makes me angry to read articles that imply that basically all women of my generation are feminists, but are too embarrassed to admit it. Like the only reason women could ever not agree with feminism is that they’re worried about boys thinking they’re silly, and that it’s the courageous thing to do to be able to stand up and say “I am a feminist.” I am not a feminist, and I would say that I’ve had a lot of criticism and disbelief at my stance, and the idea that the only reason I would say I’m not a feminist is because I don’t understand it, or want to look ‘cool’ in front of my peers is insulting. I think there’s a very big difference between believing in equal rights and believing in feminism – they are not the same thing. Feminism looks for inequalities everywhere, because of the ideology it subscribes to, and subsequently finds inequality everywhere, especially where it is symbolic and there is no proof that it’s oppressing anyone.

I had a conversation last year with one of my lecturers, and said that I’m not a feminist, because I believe in the core value of equality, but that I believe that that is very different to ‘feminism’ in its current incarnation. Just as I would not call myself a Christian just because I believe that murder is bad, I refuse to subscribe to feminism just because I believe in one value that it sets out, but completely disagree with how it suggests this is achieved. People are far too willing to label themselves and change their life according to these labels.

This is a quote from an article in the Guardian, ” You’re not a feminist, but… What?” by Chloe Angyal:

“Feminism demands a complete overhaul of how we think, how we behave, how we talk, where we work, what media we consume, how we vote and how we raise our families.”

To me, this is the essence of feminism. It is completely hypocritical – followers are deterred from ‘patriarchal’ values, but these are simply replaced by other codes as to how you should live your life and form your identity, and this negates the only truly good thing feminism had – the idea that women should have free choice over how they think, how they behave, how they talk, where they work, what media they consume, how they vote and how they raise their families, amongst other things. In my opinion, feminism does not provide that choice, as it sets out other prescribed norms and values that you follow, or face being shunned.

I can only really speak for myself, but I don’t say that I’m not a feminist because I worry about fitting in, or having people say nasty things to me, labelling me according to stereotypes. If this were the case, it would be really stupid, seeing as most people I have ever met would say that they are feminists. This ideology is not the minority any more, and I would say that it’s a lot more challenging to actually go againist it and say that you’re not a feminist. For a start, you’ll have people telling you that you actually are a feminist, you just don’t understand what feminism is. Or people flat out telling you that you’re stupid if you don’t believe in feminism. I think this is the point – feminism is so hypocritical, it’s become what it set out to argue against. Feminists argue that women have been deterred from feminism because of peoples’ reactions and people trying to dissuade them from taking on this new ideology, but now feminism is that deterring force, trying to make people believe in this ideology because if you say that you don’t, you’re shunned, told you’re stupid, told that you don’t understand, guilted, told that you’re internalising patriarchy so aren’t entitled to an opinion.

I am not a feminist, and could never be a feminist, because I don’t believe in how this ideology conducts itself. It is hypocritical and underhanded, denying women their rights to choose if women do not agree with the ideology set out by feminism. I realise that there are different branches of feminism, but that is not enough of an argument to make me reconsider and think “oh, I can just define my views by a different sort of feminism”. That’s just weak. People shouldn’t need labels to validate their views. Unfortunately this means that feminism will pretty much always always win over the people it’s oppressing, because they have their club that most people now have a membership to, but can still claim that they are the oppressed minority, rather than that they’re being oppressive of others. As a woman, I feel oppressed by feminism. I do not want an ideology telling me how to live my life, simply because I happen to have been born female. I don’t want to be part of your club because of my genitals, thanks. I don’t want the extra protection that feminism wants to give me – I don’t want to ban lad’s magazines, or close strip clubs, or make counselling mandatory for prostitutes. I don’t want to lobby the government for yet more ridiculous laws to force everyone to be nice to each other, or come up with legislation that amounts to punishing people for thought crime. I know that this is not all feminism is, but, to me, these are all elements that are so very, very important to me that I could never even pretend to subscribe to an ideology that would make me complicit in these things. Ironically, I have more respect for myself than that. My views are very important to me and I won’t compromise them just so that people will respect me. I don’t feel that people I’ve spoken to, especially at university, respect my views, or me. Overwhelmingly, it’s always that I’m internalising, I’m stupid, I don’t understand, that I think what I’m doing is empowering but actually it isn’t (accompanied by pitying, self-righteous facial expression). Feminism is the norm, and it’s respected. I don’t live according to what looks empowering to everyone else – I really don’t care. I am not a representative of my gender, and will behave however I choose to, whether that looks symbolically degrading or not.

Just watching a BBC interview with Kat Banyard, which is fantastic, to see her views actually being deconstructed and challenged. I think that this highlights the absolute hypocrisy of feminism – Kat Banyard is against the sex industry and feels that it is one of the most detrimental forces in achieving equality, and sees the sex industry as exploitation towards women, conflating stripping, lap dancing, etc. with prostitution. In this interview, she defends womens’ rights to wear a burqa, as a choice that women should be able to make, and denounces how, in this issue, womens’ bodies are used as a battleground. Yet she doesn’t apply this thinking to women working in the sex industry – why can’t women choose to use their own body, which they should be seen as having ownership of, to work in an industry that she feels is exploitative? This is how feminism in general comes across to me – women have the right to make free choices about their own body, e.g. to have an abortion, but as soon as it’s about commercial sex, they’re too frail and vulnerable and exploited to have their views listened to. Particularly shown in Kat Banyard saying that abortion has to be a right for women, as they should have control over their own bodies, but that in the West we don’t label practices that are ‘harmful’ to women as violence, because they’re shielded by using words like ‘choice’ and ‘liberation’…. How can it be that women should not be allowed to make choices about their own bodies that they think are choice, or liberating, but have a higher authority outlawing these ‘choices’ because they don’t believe that they are the right choice?

And that laws changing to make sure women can go into any profession they wish regardless of their gender are good, but revoking this to make sure that women can’t work in the sex industry is good. How does that make sense? The idea that women still have to choose between a career and looking after their children, yet a lot of the time women choose to work in the sex industry because they want the more flexible working hours in order to spend more time with their family, but they’re looking to make sure that women can’t do this, can’t make this choice, and must have a job that they deem non-exploitative. What, exactly, in Capitalist society, is a job without exploitation?

In this Kat Banyard interview, I was hoping desperately that the interviewer was going to keep asking her about womens’ rights to choose abortion, to be a stay-at-home mother, to wear the burqa, with her answer always being that it’s about choice and body autonomy, but then to ask why these same principles can’t be applied to choosing to work in the sex industry. Unfortunately it didn’t happen, but the point is still extremely relevant, I think.

 

So, I am not a feminist, but please stop trying to convert me.

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  • fred whitacre jr: they don,t have any sex invaled why are we so againce children being nude in pictures because of alll the sick fucking rapetist out there children
  • fred whitacre jr: she only 12 but it is not porn at all it is nude only only a sick person would want to fuck her not me but i will tell you the true she is a very hot
  • fred whitacre jr: i see noghting wrong just a nude girl no porn that would be wrong with a child but not worng with a grown up only nude pics of children is ok if no se
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